The stigma of money

One of the most valuable things I’ve learned on this debt journey is it becomes easier once you take away the stigma of money.

In general people are incredibly open about every other area of their lives, but when it comes to money that all changes. You’re not supposed to know how much your friends earn, you can’t know what debt they have, what they spend on things in their lives or what they have saved. It’s considered vulgar to talk about and rude to ask but, for us, it’s made it so much easier when we can talk about it!

We have great friends in our lives and the ones that we are closest too are the ones that we talk about money with. Just as it’s made our marriage even better by talking about money, it’s also made our friendships better as well. At the start it was a softly softly approach, the mention of a budget or a passing comment on paying off debt but then we realised how great it was to just lay out the numbers! We started telling people in detail what our numbers were. I started talking about how I was working on bringing areas of my budget down or started explaining why I was saying no to going out. All our friends know what we earn and it’s not to show off, it just gives a perspective on the debt payoff that we’re aiming for. The more I’ve talked about it the easier it’s got too talk about it.

Once we did start talking about it a fantastic thing happened- other people started talking to us about their finances as well. We realised that (although our numbers may be high) we’re not actually the only idiots in the world who didn’t know where their wages disappeared to!

It worked for us in three ways when we opened up about our money.
1- it’s easy to tell people that we can’t do something or suggest an alternative, free, plan of events
2- it took a bit of the guilt away for getting into this situation. We realised that everyone has debt in a varying degree and it didn’t make us terrible humans
3- it made us a bit more accountable for it. If you’re talking about it and being asked about it from people outside of your relationship then you want to keep on track that little bit more.

Peer pressure is a very real thing, it’s just changed now so that what we want to be doing well in is paying off debt, being self sufficient and planning for retirement 😂!

Have you found anything that’s made it easier to get debt free?

Advertisements

Thankful thoughts

It’s officially Autumn now and there’s a definite pity party happening in the household at the moment… I’m fed up of it and everyone around us must be as well. We have an amazing life so to try and head it off I wanted to write down just some of the things I’m grateful for.

There are many things I could start this list with but I’ll start with the sappiest one and say my husband. I often sit and marvel that I’ve been blessed with such a beautiful man inside and out. I appreciate more and more the wonder of finding someone who wants the same things for our future and will bust his butt to get them for us. I asked him the other night what inspired him to do what he did (it was a question I’d struggled to answer that day when asked in work) and he said providing for me. He is motivated because we want our future goals to come to fruition ❤️. How often would you find a man who’s willing to run the same budget numbers with you every night just because it keeps you focused?!

The next thing I’m supremely grateful for is my friends. At 30 I have best friends, actual movie style best friends, who aren’t just my family. It’s something I haven’t had since I was 15 and it’s odd and great! It’s been a whole learning experience for me. Two of my closest female friends do me the very great honour of allowing me to call myself Aunty to their babies. They let me bug the life out of them by hanging out at their house and drinking tea and playing with my beautiful niece and nephew for hours on end. I’ve now been asked to be Godmother to a gorgeous new Godson who will arrive in January. I don’t know if I can describe how humbled and amazed it makes me feel to have both these ‘titles’ for these tiny humans. I love them unconditionally and it is a phenomenal thing for me. It also means I have people who are at the same point in life as me and who I can talk to or even bitch too when I am having a bit of a crap day. To have people understand or just listen is great. They are there to just text or go and see and sometimes I just have to remind myself that that isn’t an inconvenience for them, they actually don’t find me that boring! They’re also the ones who have been there every day when I’ve been honest and said I can’t afford to do something. Instead of just avoiding hanging out with me they’ve happily spent time doing free stuff with me. They’ve also put up with the fact I haven’t even been able to get them a birthday present this year or indeed buy anything for them (the absolute hardest thing for me!).

I was also asked this year to be bridesmaid to one of my other friends. A complete surprise and a wonderful one. This is the first time I’ve been bridesmaid for someone who wasn’t family. It makes my heart happy that someone would want me to be up there, right next to them, on such an momentous occasion. All of these things just make me sit and think wow. These beautiful beings could have chosen anyone for these things but they chose me (or got stuck with me in the case of the babies 😂). I honestly just feel so lucky to have such caring people surrounding me.

I also have more friends than I know what to do with to be truly honest. I’m not a great socialiser at all, I like who I like and would do anything for them but that tends to be a very small number. Thanks to my job I find myself surrounded by amazing and interesting and funny people. They all seem to be willing to have me as a friend and actually want to talk to me and meet up with me. It’s been really difficult the fact that I’ve had no frivolous money to go out for tea and cake with these new friends but we’ve made it work.

I’m also really grateful for husband and I’s jobs. There are so many people we’ve read about, going through the debt journey, and they’re biggest problem is their income. I have a job which I love and that has been able to double my hours since the start of the year. This is through the generosity of my managers and it has obviously made an immense difference in our ability to clear down the debt. I also love what I do, I spent years in jobs I didn’t enjoy but now I get to love going into work every day. I’m working from 4pm till 2am today and I honestly can’t wait for it! I know that not a lot of people can say that about their jobs.

My family are the other area where I’m filled with love and blessings. I have a fantastic family. They drive me up the wall a lot of the time but that’s what family are for. I have been blessed from the second I was born with my family and I doubled down on it when I got married and had another amazing family take me in and call me their own.

Lastly I’m grateful for all the opportunities we’ve been given. No matter what we need God always seems to give us a way of getting it. No matter how badly we’ve screwed up or when we’ve got sick and tired of budgeting etc etc, we always seem to be able to get back on track. I’m so grateful for all the times that this has happened. We are blessed with a life of abundance and that’s what we need to focus on just now instead of the few small things that we’re griping about. This autumn is definitely a season of big change.

 

 

 

Meal planning and budget

Its the end of the month for us and so the budget has been done ready to go into August. This means that there’s one big thing left for me to do- our meal planning!

I am trying to be a lot stricter with this in terms of budget and also look for more ways to save. Roughly a year ago I did a big over haul of our eating and food spending habits. At that point I cut down our monthly food budget from around £210 per month to on average £130 (that’s for 2 adults, 3 meals a day). After that initial cut I feel I’ve plateaued, the saving was great but I still feel like there has to be so many other ways I can cut the budget even more. So that’s what I’m trying to plan for and do!

My mantra for this year is definitely ‘can I make it myself’. Therefore every meal we make, if we’ve had to buy any ready made ingredients, I want to know if I can do it instead.

The first thing to go was shop bought pasta sauces- this one for me was purely a laziness factor. It initially felt a lot easier to just open a jar than to make one up. I have now stopped being lazy though and started making my own (FYI it takes roughly 1 minute more to make my own basic tomato sauce). This has saved me from spending up to £2 on jarred sauce and instead only costs me 60p for my home sauce ingredients. The eventual dream is that I’ll get good at growing tomatoes and be able to make my own passata base as well.  The next thing that has saved us some money is that I am now mainly vegetarian – much to husbands disgust! It means that our meat order goes twice as far because its just husband eating the meat and I use pulses or meat substitutes instead which are a lot cheaper.

The other area where we’ve saved a lot of money is by me getting a good pizza base recipe. We committed in June that we would stop getting takeout. It was our Saturday night treat to order in pizza. A treat for me that I didn’t have to Cook and a treat for husband cause he loves pizza. However, because he dislikes sharing pizza, it was costing us around £60/£70 per month just on 4 meals. That 50% of our entire months food budget. An absolutely ridiculous waste of money when we’re trying to clear debt. So instead I’ve been making the bases and we’re having delicious cheesy pizza for pennies instead.

Aside from this we also chose a cheaper supermarket to shop in which has helped as well. Although due to the nature of that shop it doesn’t always have everything we need so we do still go to another store once a month for bits and pieces!

How I actually meal plan is simple. I take an inventory of the freezer and pantry first of all. I have a good rough idea so its really just firming up that I have what I think I have. Then I print out a blank monthly calendar and write in all my shifts that I know. That then just leaves me to match food to days. We have a basic ‘bank’ of meals that we eat with the occasional experiment meal thrown in so I try to cycle through them as I go. I usually start with the nights I won’t be in for dinner as these have to be meals husband can make himself which limits the possibilities. Then I choose what days I want lazy meals so ones I can quickly prep or shove in the oven. That just leaves my days off when I have time to make more elaborate meals so they go in as well. That gives me my full months dinners and I make my shopping list on a weekly basis for the fill in ingredients from the planner. The calendar gets stuck up on the fridge and that’s it all done =)

TOP TIPS

– don’t be swayed by brands: own brand is normally just as good. There’s only one or two things we still prefer branded.

– plan round how tired you think you’ll be: I used to be terrible for not taking into account what I was working. I would plan in a meal that took time to prepare and then be to tired and hangry to cook. When that happened we would end up buying takeaway…

– always label the extra portions that go into the freezer. I have too many mystery boxes in the freezer that I was convinced at the time I’d remember what they were.

– weigh your ingredients. I weigh out our pasta and rice portions and cheese etc. Its good for a not being fat point of view but also saves on waste.

– make use of your freezer. I buy frozen instead of fresh for what I don’t grow generally. For mushrooms and peppers I buy, chop and freeze on the day.  For our big meat order I spend a couple of hours on delivery day portioning and wrapping it and then put it in the freezer.

– plan in advance to use any leftovers from dinner and change them into something for lunch the next day.

 

 

Debt update- March

Another month has flown by and it’s payday again (yay!). This meant we had our final budget meeting of the month last night. We learned a couple of lessons from the month as there were some unexpected monies that we had to pay out and silly things we hadn’t considered.

The first of which was because our hoover packed in. Not ideal when you’re decorating and have an extremely fluffy dog who sheds everywhere! So we had to buy a new one. Now we do put aside money for the house each month as we’re still in the middle of decorating it. However we have that currently earmarked for finishing the downstairs. So we decided to use our ‘spare’ council tax money for the month instead and buy a new hoover. This took away some of the over-payment we’d been intending to make to the debt.

The second lesson we learned (which realistically we should have thought off before) is to take into account the number of weeks in a month. As husband gets paid on the last day of the month, it does make a difference to our monthly budgeting. March was a 5 week month for us and this means that we should have increased our food and petrol allowance. We didn’t so that of course meant we overspent. It was a good lesson to learn and will help us going forward.

We’ve also spent a bit of time organising all our paperwork that just seems to pile up… I was horrified to realise that off the 5K a year we pay to our mortgage, only 1.5K off that actually gets removed from the capital amount. That’s a depressingly small amount! We’ve discussed it and the aim is for us to be debt free by the time we’re both 30 and mortgage free by the time we’re 40. That means that we need to make a massive change or we’ll never achieve it. So… In order to do that and also to help with the debt we’ve cancelled our last sharesave. That gave us a couple of grand back in cash to pay to debt and also frees up £110 per month. That £110 is now going to be an overpayment to the mortgage each month. That’ll start from the beginning of April. One of the reasons for that is we’ll have a lower LTV ratio when it comes time to re-mortgage next year at the end of our fixed rate term. In order to achieve being mortgage free by 40 we will need to start paying 1K a month to our mortgage so we are even more desperate to get rid of this debt so we can do that!

Ok now debt figures… We started the month at £9918, our standard payment of £300 has come off so now to figure out the over-payment! It turns out that we were slightly over enthusiastic last month when it came to paying extra money, we actually put our holiday money to the debt as we’d forgotten it was holiday money… Nevermind! It does mean that we can’t pay as much as we’d thought we could this month though. Our extra payment this month will be £1600. This will take us to £8018. We’ve also managed to sell my old car and I have a couple of makeup jobs which will bring in an extra £400 that can go straight to debt. Also in April my pay rise starts so we will have another £100 per month that can again go to debt each month.

The last thing we have in favour of our debt is that 1K of it isn’t actually our debt. When we were consolidating our debt into a loan we included £1500 to give to one of our friends. (There was a very good reason for doing it). This is paid off at £50 per month and will continue to be. So if we don’t include it then we are down to £6618 that we have left to pay. That works out at just £735 per month for the rest of this year and we’d be done! It is an amazing thought that we could finally be rid of this by 2018. I am desperate for it to become a reality…

Love, Kimmy x

Debt Free Arnolds

So upon consideration a blog seemed to be the easiest way to make me accountable and hopefully better at sticking to our budget and working on the garden.

We’re a married couple from Scotland and our aim is to be debt free and then buy land for a homestead. This blog is going to be a combination of our debt free and growing journey. I want to document what we’ve tried when growing our veg and also what went wrong (because I’m sure there will be a lot). I also hope it’ll focus us back on our budget and why we’re not supposed to be spending as that got lost at the end of last year. 

Here’s where we stand at the moment: 

Debt- 12.5k (excluding our mortgage)

We own a house with a reasonable size garden which is where we will be growing all our fruit and veg. The space is an issue- I still want to have a garden so don’t want to rip it all up for growing. Therefore I’m looking for the best ways to provide food for us on a small scale. As we go on you’ll no doubt see that my husband would love to keep bees and chickens just now (and a whole farmyard of animals once we have land) I however am not keen on this idea.

This will be our first full year growing and I’m starting to prepare the ground and the house for planting this week. The current intention is to grow the following:

Potatoes/ onions/ courgettes/ aubergines/ cucamelons/ tomatoes/ garlic/ carrots and incaberries. 

We’ve tried some of these before with varying success and some are totally new to us. We’ve also started what we hope will grow into a larger co-op with another couple. They’re going to provide peas and kale for us and we’ll trade them onions and potatoes! 

I’ve documented some of our successes and failures on our Instagram but feel it’ll help me to have this blog as well. 

We’d love to build a community of people both in Scotland and abroad who can give us hints and tips be spur us on. So if you have any advice then get in touch! 

In terms of our debt we are loosely followibg the Dave Ramsey plan. I know that he would say that means we arent following his plan at all but we’ve had to adapt a lot for the UK. We budget every month and previously did have weekly budget meetings. That had stopped but we’re going to go back to it. Our costs tend to be the same each month so it gdgs boring going over it. We also feel like we just maintain the same level of debt. Anytime we manage to make progress with paying it off something else comes up that we need to spend money on.it does get disheartening. It feels like even when we deny ourselves and stick meticulously to our budget we still don’t get anywhere. 

Anyway that’s our introduction, I’ll be updating as we do things as we do them this year and hopefully get some great produce along the way!